My Cousin’s Quest to Discover the Undiscovered

Melenie lives  in a lovely home with both her parents, grandma, and her uncle Oscar who helped raise her and her sister Nicole since she was five years old. Oscar and Melenie’s dad, Roberto, were both in the military. When Roberto was deployed to different countries, Oscar would help Melenie’s mom take care of her. 

Before the age of six, her dad and uncle both got sent to Iraq on two separate occasions. Months later something happened to Oscar, and at nine years old, something happened to her dad, leaving her and her family devastated.

Melenie is nineteen years old today. She is currently in college playing soccer and studying to be a psychiatrist. “I want to help kids who are struggling because when I was young the only parent I had was my mom and I want to help kids that are going through the same when I was the same age and give them advice.”

Melenie with her dad when she was about 4 years old.

Melenie’s early life

When Melenie was five years old, her dad and uncle both got sent to Iraq to fight in the war and they survived. Months later Oscar got diagnosed with cancer due to the smoke from the bombs in war, he continued with his treatment but unfortunately passed away months later. This was very hard on Roberto because Oscar was like a brother to him and they were so close in the military.

In 2012 when Melanie was nine years old, her dad got diagnosed with PTSD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. His PTSD was advanced and he was so traumatized from everything that he had seen at war, such as watching his friends die in tragic ways. When Roberto was home after the war he would have episodes at night, thinking he was still at war and would start choking Melenie’s mom until he snapped back to reality. This would go on repeatedly for months where he would have severe episodes. 

What happened to her dad

One day Roberto woke up in the middle of the night and went to his car without anyone knowing and he wrote goodbye letters to Melenie, her sister Nicole that was a baby at the time, and her mom. He left the letters in his military bag with a bottle of alcohol. The next day Roberto planned to go to the gun range with his two friends. They were just shooting guns then suddenly he gets behind both of  his friends and shoots himself in the head. 

During this time Melenie was at school. Her mom picked her up for an early dismissal and took her home. She didn’t tell her that Roberto committed suicide; she just said he got shot during the war. Melenie cried and missed three months of school after finding out that her dad had died. She was very sad and young at the time; that's why her mom didn't tell her the truth of what really had happened to Roberto.

After her dad’s death

After a couple months, Melenie’s mom tried getting her to do sports and other fun activities. She started playing soccer at this time, the same year that her dad had passed away and she was feeling happier over time because she got to spend time with her favorite cousins. She loved playing soccer so she decided to keep playing.

The time just kept going by and Melenie’s mom never found a good opportunity to tell her the truth because she was afraid of how Melenie would take it. When Melenie was in her freshman year of high school in 2021, she went to soccer tryouts to play varsity for her school. One day the coach asked all the girls on the team what had inspired them to start playing soccer, and the majority of them would say it was because of their dad. They would talk about what good bonds they all had with their dads. At that moment Melenie felt mournful hearing all the stories of her teammates having fun times with their dads while her mom was the only parent she had. 

During her freshman year of high school Melenie got diagnosed with depression and was feeling suicidal. She was experiencing a lot of panic attacks so that's when she started talking to therapists and psychiatrists. It still didn't seem to help so they had to put her on a variety of medications for her mental health. By the time she was a junior in high school everything started getting better because she switched to a smaller school and was able to graduate a whole year earlier. She felt like she had more support in the smaller school because her cousins went to the same school. She also stopped playing soccer for a while after she switched schools due to her mental health problems. 

Melenie finds out the truth 

A couple months ago in March of 2025 Melenie had a sleep over with her best friend Aislyn. That morning she drove Aislyn to her house, came back home, and saw her mom watching tv. She told her that she had a dream that night that her dad was on the news for committing suicide. Her mom then got quiet, turned off the TV and told Melenie to have a seat.

Melenie was nervous and her mom finally told her the truth about her dad. She showed her the letters and Melenie bursted out crying because she thought her dad didn’t love her for committing suicide.

At first Melenie was angry at her mom for not telling her the truth knowing that her mom knew she was struggling with her mental health because of her dads death during her freshman year of high school. Melenie felt trapped because she would always have nightmares and she felt like she always knew that he didn't really get shot but when her mom told her she felt more relieved to finally know the truth and she stopped having nightmares after that day. She would hear whispers and banging noises, but the whole time it was just her dad trying to tell her the truth and that he really did love her. He was just mentally sick and unfortunately it took over him. But then Melenie sat down and had a talk with her grandma and finally understood why she kept it a secret.

Now Melenie feels more relieved even though she may still think about her dad every now and then but she is able to control her emotions better. She wants wants to help people (mostly kids that went through the same thing at her age) with mental health problems to let them know they are not alone. She wants to let them know they can always talk to someone to help prevent suicide from happening.

— Melisa R.